You read that right. Across Europe, Paris Hilton eyelashes and nails are already being rolled out, with the expectation that they'll be going east shortly, while a few months ago Paris inked a deal with an optical firm to launch a range of coloured contact lenses for the Asian market. There is every chance you would assume Paris was now hopelessly passe, having been eclipsed by second-generation reality succubi such as the Kardashians. According to Hilton's manager, he turns down anywhere between 12 and 20 pitches for brand endorsements per day. In fact, if anything, the strain has mutated into something altogether less containable.
In fact, do let's hope that we're witnessing nothing less than the Hiltonisation of the world, and that Paris's great-grandfather Conrad Hilton was merely the John the Baptist figure to the real mogul messiah. Products that have recently failed to secure the Hilton imprimatur include canned beans. As she puts it: You read that right. It's a fair point. For although you can still view the latest iteration of madam's fly-on-the-wall show on America's appropriately named Oxygen channel, it is clear that Paris has long since outgrown the role of mere unscripted programming personality. It is a riches-to-riches story that proves you can overcome all kinds of obstacles — lack of talent, wilful ignorance, casual bigotry — and still win the game of late capitalism so resoundingly that adorable little people from emerging markets want to buy your handbags. According to Hilton's manager, he turns down anywhere between 12 and 20 pitches for brand endorsements per day. There are the aforementioned fragrances and shoes and handbags , of course, and any number of will-this-do clothing lines. But the encouraging news is that we will always have Paris, much in the same way the herpes virus sticks around in perpetuity. Share via Email Paris Hilton: Well, the first of a planned chain of Paris Hilton beach clubs is about to open in the Philippines. It is fast becoming clear that Paris means nothing less than to establish clone armies of her personage everywhere from Mexico City to Manila, tossing their ratty hair extensions and muttering "that's hot! After all, Conrad's dream of siting one of his hotels in every capital city and beyond may have been ambitious by mid- 20th-century standards, but it was merely the precursor to his great-granddaughter's altogether more chilling programme of expansion. It's a sort of remotely effected colonialism. Indeed, a rudimentary cost-benefit analysis suggests that Paris Hilton Enterprises is a far more effective way of spreading US ideals than the military formats that have produced such indifferent results in recent years. There is every chance you would assume Paris was now hopelessly passe, having been eclipsed by second-generation reality succubi such as the Kardashians. But I do know that if anyone can pull off this totes amaze feat of payment-balancing, it's Paris. There are dedicated Paris Hilton stores in more than 30 countries, and milady has a MotoGP racing team that operates out of Barcelona. And so to the list of Hilton products, which at its current rate of growth will soon make the list of America's most apocalypse-goading exports, shortly behind toxic debt and dysfunctional wars. Across Europe, Paris Hilton eyelashes and nails are already being rolled out, with the expectation that they'll be going east shortly, while a few months ago Paris inked a deal with an optical firm to launch a range of coloured contact lenses for the Asian market. In fact, if anything, the strain has mutated into something altogether less containable.
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