Jig saw as sex machine

I don't want to speak for everyone reading this, but spending an hour greasing pistons and tightening bolts when you're ready to have sex right now sounds infinitely more frustrating than just finding a willing human to slap against. The creativity they display when fixing or adapting one of the machines so it pounds genitals better is downright inspiring. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Naturally, the limitless power of the human imagination has ensured that for everything in the world that rumbles, thrusts, or spins, someone has figured out how to fuck it.

Jig saw as sex machine


They all put a lot of man hours into tricking out a machine they can never, ever show off. It seems like there should be some sort of rule that masturbation aids never require you to pour in more maintenance than an actual relationship. Now look at the related items section: Maybe it seems intuitive that the same people who have sex with machines would be gear heads, but this extends beyond a casual enthusiasm. Their patience threshold is enviable. But I did find some bizarre trends among the people who like to fuck stuff with an engine, and I at least want to share those with you. But easily the most surprising takeaway from these reviews is the staggering amount of care owners put into their sex toy before each individual use. The poor tool purists try their hardest to ignore the sex toy reviews, like they're hoping that if no one says anything, the perverts might all just dissolve into the ether like a fart. It allows wood workers, carpenters, and home improvement specialists to attach different blades, sanders, files, and brushes to a reciprocating saw, essentially turning one tool into about six. The creativity they display when fixing or adapting one of the machines so it pounds genitals better is downright inspiring. But the sex toy enthusiasts hate being ignored. Not a single one of them is an off-the-shelf masturbator. But don't actually touch it. Continue Reading Below Advertisement As a pretend journalist, I sensed some greater cultural significance hidden in the cracks of all those sex machine reviews, and after reading every single one that Amazon has to offer, I can now say with total confidence that, no, there is not. The only hint that the carpenters know their favorite tool has been sexually usurped is in the emphatic way they mention the home improvement project they are working on, lest someone mistake them for the kind of person who would wrap their genitals around a reciprocating saw. Either they are comedic geniuses, or they are suffering from sitcom levels of obliviousness. And then there are some reviews that have passed so far through the ceiling-mounted looking glass that their tone is impossible to discern. They customize their rides with such regularity that I'm curious why our country keeps complaining about a shortage of female engineers. More importantly, Amazon offers customer reviews for each one of those sex machines, because even though it may not always feel like it, the Internet runs on altruism. Most of these people sound like they could put a car engine together blindfolded. I was amazed to see that even in a massive online store, where real names and purchases and recommended products are attached to every profile right out in the light where everyone can see, not even the risk of utter humiliation outweighs the human desire to lend a hand. I don't want to speak for everyone reading this, but spending an hour greasing pistons and tightening bolts when you're ready to have sex right now sounds infinitely more frustrating than just finding a willing human to slap against. For every Nigerian Prince, every subscription wall, every online convenience fee, there are 10 more people who aren't asking for any money at all and who just want to help you find the best electrical appliance to hump. Oh, did you think the apple corer was an exaggeration? You don't know where it's been. They've started penning subtly erotic reviews in the hopes of tricking some simple handyman into agreeing that it was helpful.

Jig saw as sex machine

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Saw: The Final Chapter (1/9) Movie CLIP - Bizarre Love Triangle (2010) HD





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1 Replies to “Jig saw as sex machine”

  1. Each earnest review on the adapter's product page about how great it was at removing kitchen grout is buried under five more reviews of how hard it made someone cum. The poor tool purists try their hardest to ignore the sex toy reviews, like they're hoping that if no one says anything, the perverts might all just dissolve into the ether like a fart.

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